It's time you knew, folks.

I knit with Red Heart yarn. That's right, I said RED HEART. The kind that gives your knitting that special, unnatural sparkle, like fiberglass insulation. It comes in shades you haven't seen since you stopped fingerpainting. It's responsible for at least 5% of U.S. petroleum consumption.
Why do I do it?
Because it only costs about three bucks a skein. And I mean, a real skein, not a 50 gram ball. Because "real" yarn at "real" yarn stores is so expensive that you have to have a trust fund to support a knitting habit, anymore. Because I'm a poor grad student and try to avoid going into "real" yarn stores, lest I plunk down half my stipend on the above-mentioned "real" yarn, which means that I am usually in a Wal-Mart or a Michael's or, last week, a
Jo-Ann Fabrics Store buying something entirely unrelated and find myself in the yarn section... and for $3, is it really so wrong if I buy one skein, or maybe two, for a little baby sweater pattern that just popped into my head? Baby sweaters knit in acrylic can be tossed in the washer, no problem. And by the way, you don't have to feel guilty for not finishing a project that only set you back $6.
Think about it. I bet you use Red Heart, too. Time to stand up and be proud about it! Is there anything you hate more than going into yarn stores, picking up a teeny skiff of cash-merino-paca-- something that you'd need about 50 skeins of to knit a sock for Barbie-- and it's so expensive that the yarn store people haven't even bothered to put a price tag on it? So that you have to ask, over and over again. "Oh, right, this one's $65, too?" Who can afford this stuff??
Well, on my way back down from the soapbox, I offer you a photo of what I've knit with my Red Heart yarn. Here's the back:
, I'm knitting a hoodie (that word bugs me, for some reason) for my niece. But right now, I'm going to the auto shop to fix a leak in my tire. Take 'er easy!